tamashika review

cheeky review of the demo

this review was lovingly researched; and within that research, I found an all abiding love for the developer of this game, whose face I have memorized;
                                                                                                  I am now obsessed with him…
                                                                                                  oh, how I long to meet him
                                                                                                  and talk about this game.

locust balsa wood pig grease video game : 2K25 “death”

Despite being funded by an avatar of the Israeli Defense Force, Blessed Harmony Korine, God’s gift to film via the science-fiction epic Gummo as well as a staunch defender of St. Polanski, to whom the Blessed Virgin appeared in a form we now call Our Lady of Pedophilia, Tamashika is an “indie”¹ game. The soundtrack is techno, the background music to genocide, the digital age’s answer to Wagner.

The game itself isn’t good, but it’s only a demo, so who knows... what matters is that Tamashika is desperate. It wants you to think that it’s a Japanese game. What it doesn’t tell you is that it’s an Indian-Israeli co-production. It is locust balsa wood pig grease (but that’s obvious... a side effect of the Israeli connection.) It wants you to chuckle and shake your head and say that the Japanese may be weird, but they make good video games. It wants you to call it a “schizopost.” The developer wants you to think he’s “schizoposting” when he² uses words like xenolinguistics to cover up that he’s probably around five-foot-three and deeply wounded that you don’t like his game, which only recently had received a fair amount of positive attention.

I cannot stress how badly this game wants you to think that it’s Japanese.³ And really, in a way, it is, in that Kappa Mikey “How to Draw Anime” way that I hear is actually becoming a popular aesthetic among the under-eighteen crowd, at least up until they find out that their digital avatars of choice are all sourced from pornographic video games.

The title hints at this: tamashika is a nonsense⁴ word that sounds oh-so-vaguely Japanese. Tamasika⁵ is a Sanskrit word that can mean a few different things, but my preferred meaning here is “reprehensible in character,” a wonderful word that you can use to describe the overall feeling of the period that we’re in! Welcome to hell, where everything is awful and nothing will ever get better. Instead of feeling bad about the fact that Satan is the prince of this world, why not… play some video games?

Tamashika is a wonderful birthday-scented security blanket that you can wrap yourself in; were it a good game, it would be ideal for escaping from life. In Tamashika, you shoot cutesy green men. You cut them in half with a knife. In real life, firing a rifle gives me a kind of sexual thrill. I have yet to cut anyone in half with a knife. Based on the ROYGBIV painted nails and the character on the title screen, in Tamashika, you play as a girl. Girls probably don’t exist in real life. I have yet to meet one. If you are, like me, a permavictim who regularly practices every fascistic power fantasy affirmation in the mirror, you might like Tamashika.⁶ Tamashika likes you. If you are not quite like me — one of those Eichmann follower-types, more like the developer of this game, someone who’s proud to say all the right things until Oops! All Zionism — you might like Tamashika.

I want to take some time out of this review to thank Vidhvat Madan for making Tamashika and express my deepest, sincerest sorrows that we do not live in the correct timeline: had the Third Reich won militarily (as opposed to just culturally), then Tamashika would surely grace every arcade cabinet in the proletarian entertainment zones that would have honeycombed the empire. You can’t rightfully say that Tamashika is morally reprehensible, just a curious example of how inescapable the Zionist culture machine is.

I would also suggest, Vidhvat, that you make the timing on parrying more forgiving. (The shooting is bland, but so is Weetabix, so I assume it’s good for you.) As it stands, Tamashika cannot rightfully be called Hitler’s favorite game, but Herr Madan⁷ can rest easy knowing that Reinhard Heydrich would love it, were he alive to play video games. Ten out of ten. I salute you and prostrate myself before you. God bless Amerika-Israel and all the fatherland’s allies in the Global War on Terror.

[I BOW AND DO SEPPUKU. GET IT? BECAUSE SEPPUKU IS JAPANESE]

1. Meaning “independent.” By the way, any and all mention of me being ‘obsessed’ with the developer of this game are satirical.

2. The developer has used ‘he’ to refer to himself alongside ‘she,’ but I am defaulting to the masculine, here. Bummer, I know, but easier to follow.

3. Despite the kanji taking up half the screen at any given moment, Tamashika’s developer only moved to Japan sometime around 2023; he has seemingly embraced a vulgar, orientalist view of his new countryland since then. In a certain manner of speaking, he’s living the Wapanese dream.

4. If it does mean something in Japanese, I’m having some trouble figuring out what. My best guess is that it means “spirit dentist.” Maybe the green guys you fight are cavities. Who knows.

5. तामसिक

6. Despite imaginging all of my enemies en masse meeting a humiliating, wretched demise, I do not like this game. Maybe if I picture myself with a large sword, nestled atop a mighty-strong stallion, I’ll start to enjoy [I shudder deeply] twitch shooters. and maybe once I start to enjoy that I’ll [I almost vomit] play Team Fortress 2 again, exclusively as Scout

7. Vidhvat refers to himself as a “gnostic.” Presumably, given his Chaosprime-esque ‘schizoposts,’ which replaced his earlier boring ass video game blogging, this is a side effect of prolonged drug use. We get it, Vidhvat! Please, stop!!